Errr A Teddybear?
by MetallicHawk
Summary: Random quick FanFic. What discovery will our Sirens and Mechromancer make about their Assassin friend?


Okay so maybe I haven't updated in like... as while cause iiiiimmmm LAAZYYYYYYYYYYYYY! So im real sorry about that, but before this I didn't believe other fiction writer's excuses of 'there is a lot going on' but now I do! I know I should probs be doin another chapter for ma other story-thing but I felt like doin somthin this is just a wee late night, one-shot, quickie that I scribbled out for funnies so ONWARD! (I honestly couldn't think of a better title)

* * *

It was a strangely peacfull and quiet night over the floating city of Sancutary, where the wild drunk could be found in it's nartural habitat, Moxxi's bar.

"So I said, THATS WHAT YOUR MA SAID LAST NIGHT!" Axton was surrounded by hoard of wasted individuals as he sun his epic tale of mystery, love, fantasy and something about knocking up a fairy. The crowd bust into a fit of laughter and cheering.

"YUo aVE tHe BesT StorIes mI HeRMaNo!" Salvador snorted as his drink exploded out his nose, covering a poor local 5 year-old with a gross mixture of booze and 12 year-old boogies (sorry to put that image into your head) ,from his hysterics before falling of his stool. He was a 'wee' bit on the drunk side. Too be honest, all of them were. Lilith and co. where having a drinking contest with a puppy-eyed Krieg sitting innocently at Maya's feet while Mordecai and Brick where hunched in one of the booths, playing the worlds deadliest game of Russian (or 'The cold place with the funny hats' as it is called there) roulette, complete with all the barrels fully loaded, both giggling like a bunch of school girls. The actual school girl herself was now prancing around on the bar top showing off her latest My Little Pony collection with her arms waving about like a helicopter.

"Will you please F*** OFF!" said a poor sod who didn't particularly wont a 3d view of the girls backside in his face. Gaige's face darkened and she turned to look silently down at the man. Her left eye began to twitch.

"BLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!"Everyone's heads whipped round to see a red-faced Gaige violently ramming a plastic pony down a drunks throat (almost blue), while he clawed desperately at his neck before his eyes rolled back into his skull. A Nobel prize winning silence followed.

"Okayyyyyyyyyyy..." Axton eventually said turning back to his audience. "As I was saying..." that said the bustle suddenly came back to life like nothing had happened.

Lilith turned back to Maya and Zer0. "So the cult dudes are gonna throw a party in my honour! Aint that freaking awesome? Melted faces and s***!" Maya nodded slightly tipsy

"Lucky b****. Oh hey Zer0, you know your supposed to drink that stuff right?" For the past hour or so the assassin had been sitting with his hands by his sides, staring at his glass. Maya just shrugged over at Lilith when he didn't reply and went on to ask her about the *ahem* 'party' she was going to have.

"So like is going to be a hu... WHAT THE!" The siren had look away from the guy for two-seconds and now his glass was completely empty.

"How the hell did you do that!" Lilith asked equally bewildered. "WAIT! HOLD ON! DID YOU TAKE OF YOUR HELMET!?" A smiley symbol flashed on his visor

"Heehee. Tasty." Was all that he said.

"Oh my god, first he takes of his helmet AND NOW he isn't speaking in haiku! Whats the world coming to?" Gaige said over-dramatically slipping in to sit with them and grinning like an idiot.

"Hey what happened to my drink!" Lilith exclaimed

"Hey where did my drink go?"

"MERRY-GO-ROUNDS ARE BRAIN BLOOD!" was Kreig's way of saying something similar.

Everyone turned to look at a swaying Zer0.

He made a 'hick' sound before his head slammed onto the table and passed out.

"Wanna ditch these guys?"

"Yep."

* * *

The girls (Krieg ran off to catch a 'flying vending machine') eventually found themselves huddled on the floor of HQ, sourounded by pop-skag, sweets and an armfull of badmovies.

"WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SLLLEEEEEEEPPPPPOVERRRRRRRRRRRRR!" Gaige whooped, arms shooting into the air, still a little bit drunk. "What are we gonna talk about first, boys?" she said looking hopeful.

"Ugh, first of all SHUT UP! Secondly, Gaige we aren't horny eighteen year-old school-girls." The redheaded siren said, clapping her hands to her ears. The mechromancer look disappointed, hugging her blanket closer to her,

"Ermmmm, wanna bitch about people?" She suggested.

"That could be fun."Maya replied. "Who we gonna talk about?"

"Mhhhhhmm." Lilith paused to think. "Hey! Who wants to go illegally look though everyones personal possessions!"

Gaige cheered with glee and sprung to her feet. "Who should we do first? Ooooo I know, lets do Salvador, wait no, Axton or maybe Zer0?"

"Yes, lets do Zer0! I wanna see what mister 'mysterious' is keeping hidden!" She agreed, but Maya was not too keen.

"Are you too out of your minds? He'll make furniture out of our corpses if he catches us! You're not honestly serious, are you?"

*5 minutes later*

"Okay, why are we even risking this? I mean, what could we possibly find in Zer0's room that isn't guns or a severed head?"

"Ah quit your moaning Maya, where is your sense of adventure! Imagine if we found something really cool like, err, like a magical pony? Besides, he wont touch me or I'll just threaten to twiddle with his voice modulator again!" Gaige grinned devilishly at the memory.

"Okay, but watch out for booby traps, because I don't know if you guys have ever taken a katana to the face before, but trust me it hurts."

Giggling like a three year old, Gaige grasped the door knob, ever so slowly prying it open to reveal, to their utter most shock and horror... a perfectly normal room. "Well, here goes!"

The three vault hunters quietly creeped around their teammates room, trying not to make a sound, because even though he was most likely passed out drunk in Moxxi's he had a tendency to pop out of nowhere. After a few minutes of hopelessly peering into cupboards and draws in the hopes of something interesting, they were just about to give up and go when Maya's jaw literally hit the ground (which made poor Gaige scream with fright and take cover in a smelly pile of old socks).

"Guys..." Lilith stepped over to Maya, nearly tripping on an innocent land-mine.

"No. Way." The two sirens looked at each other and soon shock turned into smirks with then turned into them rolling around on the floor in floods of laughter. For what was sitting on the bed was a,

Great...

Big...

Fluffy...

Teadybear

* * *

Hoped yall liked this wee quickie, will probs make another part for this! Im gonna start doin the proper chapters soon! :D


End file.
